


Erasing Love Written in Sharpie

by justsomebread



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Just a short drabble of Mari's POV, LB is only mentioned once whoops, One-Sided Attraction, Slight Angst?, basically describing her feelings, mostly her thoughts, sorta ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:21:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6816508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomebread/pseuds/justsomebread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marinette's thoughts about her feelings for Adrien.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Erasing Love Written in Sharpie

**Author's Note:**

> **Well this is my first fanfic ever. I've been wanting to write a ML fanfic for a long time, just didn't have the right words.  
> I know this is OOC in a lotta of ways, but I couldn't really see Canon Mari's obsession as love so I changed it up.  
> A lot of her feelings are based on my own experiences/feelings. So I'm sorry if you don't agree with this--more than anything it was for my own satisfaction and expression.
> 
> If I feel good about this one, I may attempt more fics or a continuation later. Thank you for reading my humble little fic, I appreciate it. I'd like to thank Microsoft Word for being my beta reader ;))
> 
> (Also the writing isn't awesome, but the focus was expressing it?? I have the darnest time expressing what I want in art, and I think I did it okay this time.)**

She hated how he made her feel. She hated how a single glance broke her. She hated how even in her strongest form she still was weak to him.  
She hated him so much because she loves him. Alya never understood what she meant.

Clenching her jaw, her eyes seek him out every time. Her face felt hot when he was around. Being around him was painful, but she needed it. In the back of her mind, that impossible fantasy pushed her towards him.

But life wasn’t like it was in the movies. And she knew she was just a background character in his life. She wanted more, so much more. He didn’t love her though.

Every kind word and compliment kills her, inside she’s screaming at him. He was destroying her. It would be easier if he ignored her.  
Why did he have to be an imperfect boy? It’d be easier if he was flawless, maybe then this could just be a crush. The sad, lonely…awkward boy who tries smiling his way through life.

Inside, she could scream and yell. She could wish he would just go away so she wouldn’t have to see him.

Outside, she could only rave about his looks, and kind heart, and beautiful smile. That way it felt like a crush, just a stupid crush. Even Alya didn’t know the extent of her feelings for the stupid boy. She wasn’t wrong to try to make her confess. She wasn’t just shy, she didn’t want to love him. The desperate hope that her feelings may change, always stops her from embarrassing herself.

He was nice in reality. And naïve and just plain innocent. Marinette couldn’t treat him poorly for reasons he didn’t understand, things that weren’t his fault. But how could she change the ugly cries for his disappearance in her life to simple sentences. Especially when he would look at her like that. Doe-eyed little frickin angel. Goddamn him.

She hated this sooo much. It was horrible. Not enough tears and frustration and embarrassment for her teenage quota apparently.

Her anger towards Chloe made her hate herself even more. She was just a spoiled, rich girl. She was mean in a completely stereotypical way. And yet it still got underneath her skin. The stupid angel boy had to be modest and kind. So different than Chloe. The initial relief that he wasn’t like Chloe evolved into an intense wish that he was. 

It was stupid, she knew it. She had his frickin pictures all over her wall. She kissed her computer screen with his image as her background. Being a dumb, crazy fangirl was easy. She thought the more she treated him like a celebrity, the more her heart could distance itself from him.

How she desperately wanted to tear his face off her wall and burn his schedule, but she knew they’d come back up.

It was like that psychological tip for depression where you try to force yourself to smile every day and supposedly you will become happy. Maybe she was using reverse psychology too. Maybe she was pushing herself in a thousand directions and making it so much worse.

She felt stupid more than anything, trapped in her involuntary love for him.

One school year with him and she could barely breathe anymore.


End file.
